Do Your Best and Let It Be Enough - Countering Your Perfectionistic Self-Talk
Preparation and focus are key skills to develop and implement when it comes to finding time to do your best. And here's something that may surprise you: Doing your best also involves knowing when to let go. That's because your time and energy are too precious (and too limited) to waste them tying yourself in perfectionistic knots!
As Psychologist Harriet B. Braiker noted, " Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing."
So, how often have you experienced that discouraging frustration? How often have you pursued the ideal of getting something 'just right,' only to keep missing the mark by a little bit? And how often have you watched your day slip away while you adjusted and tweaked and reached for that ideal again and again?
Sound familiar? It's not an unusual experience - especially for energetic, motivated, high achievers. And the good news is, there's another way to go about this! You can keep perfectionism from tying you in knots, taking over your life, and bringing your productivity to a halt.
The way to outsmart your perfectionism is by learning to recognize the 3 Key Perfectionist Messages that can help you recognize the tell-tale signs of perfectionism. Then you can respond to those undermining messages directly and powerfully, winning back your time by making different choices!
Untying perfectionism's knots doesn't just help you find time. It also builds your confidence and expands your sense of what is possible. Talk about life-enhancing changes! So, let's explore those tell-tale messages:
Perfectionist Message #1: 'I'm waiting for the right time to get started.' This raises the question of what exactly is the 'right time'? And how do you recognize it when it arrives? Ask yourself some questions about this, and see what you discover. Do you know the 'right time' has arrived when:
You have more free time?
You feel inspired?
Your friend returns the books she borrowed - the ones you need to read before you can start your project?
There are no distractions?
There are no other demands on your time?
You have enough time?
What these examples all have in common is that, in each, you give yourself the message that something additional is needed before you can begin. This disempowers you and keeps you stuck.
Time-Wise Response: 'The right time is right now.' You untie the perfectionistic knot by letting yourself know that NOW is the time that you have to work with. Whatever task you have to do, schedule the specific start time for yourself and, when the time comes, start in. Don't think about it; just begin. Once you take the first step, the next will follow.
Perfectionist Message #2: 'It is not perfect yet.' If you often say some version of this to yourself, follow-up with these questions:
What would perfect look like?
Is it attainable?
Are you anticipating criticism?
If so, from whom?
Are your expectations realistic or inflated?
Whose eyes are you seeing this through?
Time-Wise Response: 'Strive for excellence rather than perfection.' Being able to really take this in is one of the biggest steps you can take toward untying perfectionistic knots. Striving for excellence becomes such a relief - and so energizing! When you let go of perfectionism you can begin to experience the pleasure of accomplishment. As your self-confidence and sense of satisfaction in your work grow, the illusion of perfection becomes less and less alluring.
Perfectionist Message #3: 'I know I can make it better.' This is a place where endless time can be wasted. How often have you found yourself tweaking something until you couldn't even see it clearly anymore? As William Shakespeare wrote (in King Lear) "Striving to better, oft we mar what's well."
Time-Wise Response: 'I will ask for feedback.' This response powerfully unties perfectionistic knots in 3 important ways:
Others come to your work with fresh eyes, so if there truly is something to be made 'better' they will probably see it.
Letting this go and choosing to delegate it frees up your time so you can move on to your next task.
As you open to others' feedback you are inviting their responses. This diminishes fear of criticism and is a very powerful antidote to perfectionism.
When you think about it, perfectionism is a lot like an internal bully who ties you in knots and saps your initiative, energy, and productivity. When you face that bully and untie those perfectionistic knots, you are freeing yourself and changing your life in a very fundamental and exciting way.
So, celebrate every step as you stop placing impossible demands on yourself and start finding time for more success and satisfaction in your life!
And to move toward your Heart-Based Time Success, sign up for our free gift, The Finding Time Success Kit, which includes "The New Finding Time Boundary Template: 9 Simple, Sequential Steps to Find More Time and Recharge Your Energy!" Using a workbook format this powerful and practical time template helps you progress beyond disappointment and frustration. Discover that 24 hours really are enough!
Just click this link to get started: http://thetimeschool.com/Success
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Paula_Eder/40911
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10149420
As Psychologist Harriet B. Braiker noted, " Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing."
So, how often have you experienced that discouraging frustration? How often have you pursued the ideal of getting something 'just right,' only to keep missing the mark by a little bit? And how often have you watched your day slip away while you adjusted and tweaked and reached for that ideal again and again?
Sound familiar? It's not an unusual experience - especially for energetic, motivated, high achievers. And the good news is, there's another way to go about this! You can keep perfectionism from tying you in knots, taking over your life, and bringing your productivity to a halt.
The way to outsmart your perfectionism is by learning to recognize the 3 Key Perfectionist Messages that can help you recognize the tell-tale signs of perfectionism. Then you can respond to those undermining messages directly and powerfully, winning back your time by making different choices!
Untying perfectionism's knots doesn't just help you find time. It also builds your confidence and expands your sense of what is possible. Talk about life-enhancing changes! So, let's explore those tell-tale messages:
Perfectionist Message #1: 'I'm waiting for the right time to get started.' This raises the question of what exactly is the 'right time'? And how do you recognize it when it arrives? Ask yourself some questions about this, and see what you discover. Do you know the 'right time' has arrived when:
You have more free time?
You feel inspired?
Your friend returns the books she borrowed - the ones you need to read before you can start your project?
There are no distractions?
There are no other demands on your time?
You have enough time?
What these examples all have in common is that, in each, you give yourself the message that something additional is needed before you can begin. This disempowers you and keeps you stuck.
Time-Wise Response: 'The right time is right now.' You untie the perfectionistic knot by letting yourself know that NOW is the time that you have to work with. Whatever task you have to do, schedule the specific start time for yourself and, when the time comes, start in. Don't think about it; just begin. Once you take the first step, the next will follow.
Perfectionist Message #2: 'It is not perfect yet.' If you often say some version of this to yourself, follow-up with these questions:
What would perfect look like?
Is it attainable?
Are you anticipating criticism?
If so, from whom?
Are your expectations realistic or inflated?
Whose eyes are you seeing this through?
Time-Wise Response: 'Strive for excellence rather than perfection.' Being able to really take this in is one of the biggest steps you can take toward untying perfectionistic knots. Striving for excellence becomes such a relief - and so energizing! When you let go of perfectionism you can begin to experience the pleasure of accomplishment. As your self-confidence and sense of satisfaction in your work grow, the illusion of perfection becomes less and less alluring.
Perfectionist Message #3: 'I know I can make it better.' This is a place where endless time can be wasted. How often have you found yourself tweaking something until you couldn't even see it clearly anymore? As William Shakespeare wrote (in King Lear) "Striving to better, oft we mar what's well."
Time-Wise Response: 'I will ask for feedback.' This response powerfully unties perfectionistic knots in 3 important ways:
Others come to your work with fresh eyes, so if there truly is something to be made 'better' they will probably see it.
Letting this go and choosing to delegate it frees up your time so you can move on to your next task.
As you open to others' feedback you are inviting their responses. This diminishes fear of criticism and is a very powerful antidote to perfectionism.
When you think about it, perfectionism is a lot like an internal bully who ties you in knots and saps your initiative, energy, and productivity. When you face that bully and untie those perfectionistic knots, you are freeing yourself and changing your life in a very fundamental and exciting way.
So, celebrate every step as you stop placing impossible demands on yourself and start finding time for more success and satisfaction in your life!
And to move toward your Heart-Based Time Success, sign up for our free gift, The Finding Time Success Kit, which includes "The New Finding Time Boundary Template: 9 Simple, Sequential Steps to Find More Time and Recharge Your Energy!" Using a workbook format this powerful and practical time template helps you progress beyond disappointment and frustration. Discover that 24 hours really are enough!
Just click this link to get started: http://thetimeschool.com/Success
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Paula_Eder/40911
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10149420
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